PEOPLE WHO DON'T WALK ON ESCALATORS: UPDATE

I was in Denver International Airport today. At the first escalator I saw, I witnessed two people wheel their bags over the escalator, stand on it, and wait for it to carry them down the stairs.

DOWN the stairs. We aren't even talking about walking UPHILL here. Unbelievable.

Look at these fuckers coasting downhill. Strangely enough, it's the one fighting the uphill battle that has enough sense to make use of the legs God gave him.

Look at that one douche thrusting his pelvis out and sauntering lazily down the metal staircase. He's not only standing -- he's standing with attitude. "Yeah, I'm doing nothing. What the fuck you gonna do about it?"

I'm not trying to be a dick. This isn't a petty, arbitrary argument to me. It's truly something I cannot comprehend. Something I have no understanding for whatsoever.

The guy below was doing it right. Walking on the magic carpet. I couldn't believe it. God bless him.

He's going so fast that it's a blur. You can't even see him. See what happens with a little effort?

Interesting side note: I was standing at the side of this magic carpet waiting to catch people either doing the right or wrong thing on it. One guy was blatantly standing on it, may as well have been scratching his balls.

Then he saw me with my phone pointed toward the magic carpet (I was trying to pretend I was texting but was actually taking pics). When he saw me, he started walking, as if he knew what I was doing.

Kind of like when you were in third grade and you were poking the kid at the desk next to with your pencil. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you catch your teacher staring you down. You stop poking, but pretend you didn't see the teacher, as if to say, "Yeah, I realized on my own that what I was doing was wrong and stopped myself. It's not cause I was afraid of being caught."

It was cool.

CAPTAIN CHEDDARSTORM